The worst mistakes I have ever made at work have been letting things go because I was the only one who thought they were important and I am thoroughly trained that if it's only important to me, it's not important at all. Most people seem to think that children have to be taught that things aren't always about them - I was taught that things would never be about me and it's a problem to this day. My two siblings were both much better at getting things their own way, partly through circumstance and partly through personality. I felt growing up that every thing I ever wanted was so diluted by the time it had been adjusted for what would suit everyone else, from the baby brother to grandpa, that it was unrecognisable - I couldn't even choose my own birthday dinner. Even if only once a year on their birthday. But maybe consciously try to give everyone exactly what they want some of the time. I'm a middle child and here's my suggestion: obviously living in a family is all about compromise and no one can get exactly what they want all the time. Most middle children are more independent and often more social but IME that happened because with my mother being so busy supporting my elder sister through new challenges and trying to care for the baby I was ignored more often than the other 2, so I become more independent out of necessity and more social because I really needed to build some support around me. So it is pretty much about finding a balance on the attention each kid gets. You may think they do not need it as they are older and more independent but again, they go through their own different struggles at any age and the baby will always be the baby. Your younger kid, being the youngest, will require most of your attention, make sure you devote as much one to one time to your eldest kids as to your baby. When the turn comes for the second child, you will be more relaxed, as you would have gone through Tim but do not forget that for your second child everything is new so she needs as much support (and fuss) as you provided to the eldest when she went through the same milestone. You will be making a lot of allowances for each milestone of your eldest because whatever they are going through is new to your eldest child AND to you. Some stuff that I could suggest to avoid it: As they’re all girls make the effort to individualise the middle one as the others will be 'the oldest' 'the baby' and theyll get lumped together as 'the girls'. Ultimately I love having siblings and I don’t think it matters too much. I also felt my whole childhood that I had to compromise what I wanted to do for either the older or younger and never got to choose myself (but perhaps that’s having siblings). My parents are lovely and really tried to give us all the same attention so whether this was true or my perception I don’t know. Negatives- I remember as a small child (maybe 3?) thinking my dad would play proper games with my older sibling (football, proper swimming, board games etc) and my mum was always with the baby and sometimes I felt a bit lost. Maybe untrue but I always thought that as a child). I love having two siblings and am close to both (I secretly have always felt I have a better bond with each of them than they have with each other as we are ‘next to each other’ in age. I think some of that comes from swapping between older kids games with my older sibling and then younger stuff with my younger sibling my kids whole childhood. Hard to tell what impact birth order has but I’ve been a mediator all through life and find it easy to get on with anyone. Hi OP! I’m a middle child of 3 and generally don’t feel it’s done me any harm at all.
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